Youjin
by K.Y. Lowell
Summary: Wondering about a seemingly offhanded comment Enzan made to him, Netto finds himself desperately seeking answers to all his sudden questions. [Contains minor spoilers for the fifth and sixth EXE games.]
1. Questions

_You're important to me._

Those words had been haunting Netto's mind ever since the moment Enzan had said them to him. It was a definite shock that he'd unbent enough to even say something like that, but to say it to _him_, Hikari Netto, of all people? That was the part that he wasn't quite sure he understood. He supposed it was nothing but the truth, really; Enzan wouldn't lie about something like that, as closed off as he normally was...but what in the world had convinced him to say such a thing, and so freely at that? It made no sense - it was so un-Enzan-like - and that was why the issue wouldn't stop drifting restlessly through the brown-haired netbattler's brain.

_You're important to me._

Sitting at his desk, his hands resting idly on the well-worn surface next to his half-finished math homework, he stared out the window and tried to put the words out of his brain long enough to concentrate, though it wasn't working. _Important...to you..._ he found himself thinking, his eyes dropping halfway closed, as if he imagined Enzan could suddenly hear him. _Why am I so important, then? Why did you say that to me? What did you mean by it? I don't understand, Enzan._ He sighed, let his eyes close completely, and laid his head down on his notebook, feeling suddenly tired and lost. "Why am I so important to you?" he whispered out loud.

From the PET, Rockman could clearly hear every word, and chewed unhappily on the corner of his lip as he turned away from his file-sorting to watch Netto's face. "Netto-kun...you've been thinking about this for almost a week now," he said softly, stepping closer to the screen and pressing his hands up against the inside of it, wishing - not for the first time - that there were no barriers between them and he could more easily comfort Netto. "I don't know why Enzan said that either, but I really don't think he said it just to bug you until you figured it out. Can't you try to put it out of your mind for a little while? Just appreciate the fact that he cares for you enough to say something like that to you, ne?" He smiled weakly, hoping Netto wouldn't take offense to his words, but the smile quickly faded away when Netto only made a distracted little noise in response. "...Netto-kun...if it's really bothering you that bad...why don't you just _ask_ Enzan what he meant by it?"

Netto murmured something inaudible in response, letting his eyes open just slightly so he could look at his twin-turned-Navi. "...The fact that he cares for me...?" he said after a moment, a slight frown crossing his face which he couldn't quite manage to shake away. "I guess you're right about that...he does care, in his own way. But he has the absolute weirdest ways of showing it..." He trailed off there, memories of an event he'd long forgotten surfacing to play across his mind's eye - Rockman gone, stolen away by Nebula, and just when he'd begun to think things were hopeless, Enzan had been the one to convince him to keep on going by loaning him Blues to use instead - letting his rival borrow his own treasured Navi in a very un-Enzan-like display of concern and support, another confusing gesture of kindness. "...The ways he shows it...I don't understand any of them, Rockman. He does all these amazing things for me when I'm feeling my absolute worst and I can never seem to find any way to return the favor! I don't understand it...I don't understand _him_..."

"I don't think anyone understands Enzan except himself and maybe Blues," Rockman replied, though he'd been having a niggling little feeling for a while that he had begun to realize what was going through Enzan's head every time he did something like that for Netto. "Like I said, if it's bothering you _that_ badly, just ask him what he meant. What's the worst he can do, stop saying so many ambiguous things and deprive you of things to wonder about?" His tone was teasing, a desperate attempt to get Netto to cheer up at least a little bit, and he relaxed slightly when his twin made a face at the PET and sat up straight again. "Seriously...I don't think he's going to get mad at you, Netto-kun. Maybe...I don't really know if I'm right about this, so don't take my word for it...but maybe he _wants_ you to ask him what he meant."

"Knowing him, he just wants to see me get frustrated over it," Netto grumbled, but obediently brought up his email program, tapping his fingers against the desk for a long moment before putting them to the keyboard, surprised at how quickly the words suddenly seemed to flow from his hands as he began to type. He couldn't help himself - he was rambling, spilling out onto the screen everything he couldn't say with his voice, but paused at wondering how he should finish the email. With everything he'd said, all the frustration and curiosity and unhappiness he'd poured into the text, what would be the right way to end it?

He thought deeply for a moment, the tip of his tongue just barely showing between his lips, then abruptly finished with a single word - _Why?_

Before he could chicken out, he moved the mouse convulsively and clicked on "send".


	2. Answers

Enzan's reply to the rather lengthy email had been another thing Netto didn't really understand. It was a simple answer, and something he couldn't exactly miss the meaning of, but he didn't know why Enzan would request that they meet at the dock on Oran Island instead of just telling him the meaning of those words right then and there. He wasn't going to refuse, of course; he wanted far too badly to know what made him so important to Enzan, but he was growing more and more frustrated with the way Enzan seemed to be skirting around the issue and not addressing it directly. Sending back a quick reply that said he'd be there without even really seeing the words he was typing, he stared at Enzan's email as if trying to indelibly burn the date and time they were going to meet up into his brain, only turning away when his eyes began to ache from looking at the screen for so long, closing them for a long moment before he turned off his monitor, picked up his pencil and tried to make a decent attempt at finishing his homework. 

The next two days seemed to pass in a fog, leaving only dim memories of concerned friends and family wondering what on earth was wrong with him to make him so distant, but finally the time came for him to make the long journey to Oran Island - courtesy of Yaito, who kindly loaned him her ship for the day without even asking to come along - and find out once and for all why Enzan had said those words to him. He might have normally enjoyed the trip, stood up on the deck and grasped the railing and felt the cool ocean breeze on his face, but this time he just quietly stayed below deck and didn't bother emerging until one of Yaito's maids came below deck and politely informed him that they'd arrived. Swallowing hard, suddenly finding himself apprehensive, he nodded his thanks and climbed the short staircase to the upper deck, an almost hungry desperation filling him as he saw Enzan standing at the edge of the dock and looking out over the beach. Before he could even think, he was moving, running down the gangplank and across the dock towards the answers he so desperately sought.

_You're important to me._

He swallowed again to wet his suddenly dry throat and called out. "Enzan!"

Enzan turned, and for a split second, his expression mirrored Netto's own - unsure, desperate, almost frightened - before it was all wiped away by the faintest little hint of a smile. "You're early for a change. Who lit a fire under your butt?" he called back teasingly, pleased to see Netto smile as he came to a stop a few feet away, skidding a little in the soft sand. "...Look, Netto, I know that what I said wasn't exactly the easiest thing to understand, but this isn't going to be a short explanation...or a simple one. Let's walk a little, and I'll try to tell you what I meant." The small smile had long since faded, replaced by a deadly serious look, and Netto could only nod and fall into step with Enzan as they left the dock, making their way towards the beach.

"When I said you're important to me..." Enzan's eyes had gone half-lidded, completely opaque and unreadable like a wall. "I meant it, Netto. You _are_ important to me. To understand why, you have to remember that first." He glanced over to make sure Netto was still following his words, and went on at seeing no hint of confusion in curious brown eyes. "I don't understand you, Netto. All this time, you've insisted on pushing yourself closer to me, on being my friend, on making me open up to you - and I don't understand! Why do you do that? Why do you think I'm worthy of your time? I'm just as confused as you are!" Frustration was creeping into his voice now, making it high and shaky, and he paused to gather his ragged control about himself before he went on, walking more slowly now. "How can I tell you how to understand me, any better than you could tell me how to understand you? We're never going to find all of the answers we want, Netto. But please believe me when I say..." They had reached the steps down to the beach now, and he stopped, turning to look Netto dead in the eye and putting his hands on the smaller netbattler's shoulders. "You are important to me. You are someone I don't ever want to lose."

Netto stared at Enzan for a long moment, his breath suddenly catching in his throat as his eyes widened with realization.

Enzan's gaze softened, a hint of fear darkening sapphire eyes. "...I like you, Hikari Netto."

"...Enzan..." Netto couldn't look away, suddenly grateful for the warm pressure of Enzan's hands on his shoulders, feeling like the ground had suddenly dropped out from under his feet and left him with no footing, either physical or mental. Biting his lip slightly, he did the only thing he could think of to do and slowly reached up to grasp Enzan's hands, lifting them from his shoulders and twining their fingers neatly together in the sudden need to hold onto something that wouldn't suddenly let go and leave him tumbling away. "...You...like me? As in..._like_ me?" he asked hesitantly, almost holding his breath, grasping Enzan's hands tightly and letting out a soft sigh at the affirmative nod he received. "I still don't understand...but at the same time...at least I have an answer to why you do so many things for me," he said quietly, taking a step closer before he could think about it, releasing Enzan's hands to instead slowly wrap his arms around the blue-eyed netbattler's shoulders and feeling himself begin to relax as Enzan returned the cautious embrace, pulling him close. "...I'm not...really sure," he started, sounding suddenly like a frightened child as he looked up at Enzan's face. "But I think...I like you too."

It was Enzan's turn for his breath to catch, a soft smile turning the corners of his lips upward as he kept his gaze fixed on Netto's. "I'm not very likable, you know," he murmured softly, unable to resist the urge to tease Netto a little bit before dropping any pretense of playfulness. "If you need some time to think about it...I don't mind. Take all the time you need. I know this has probably just raised even more questions that I can't answer, but I think you can answer them all on your own when you think about it." He slowly reached up, brushing away a few damp specks of sand that had attached themselves to Netto's cheek with a passing breeze, his expression softening even more when Netto closed his eyes partway and leaned into his hand. "You've probably figured this out on your own by now, but I wanted to make you think deeply about what I said to you at that time. I wanted you to give me a reason to finally tell you everything I did today, and you did..." His voice went low, holding a hint of a smile. "Just like you knew what I wanted from you all along," he finished.

"I didn't. Rockman was the one who suggested I should ask you what you meant. I wonder if he'd figured it out." Netto looked thoughtful now, glancing down at the PET holster that rested at his hip, not expecting any sort of comment from his Navi and hence not surprised when one never came. "There is one thing I still don't get, though. Why couldn't you have just told me all of this when you emailed me back? I mean, sure, it wouldn't have been this...this personal...or had quite this much of an impact, but..." He laughed a little nervously, meeting Enzan's eyes again, relaxing to see the taller netbattler giving him another one of those small, gentle smiles. "Just answer me this one last question, Enzan. Why?"

Enzan's smile widened. "Because I wouldn't have been able to do _this_ through email."

Before Netto could ask what 'this' was, Enzan hugged him close and pressed a very soft kiss to his unresisting lips, waiting a few agonizingly tense heartbeats for a reaction, making a soft noise of relief when Netto opted to simply settle against him and allow himself to be kissed instead of pulling away. He'd meant to keep the kiss as gentle as possible and pull back after a few seconds, having planned and rehearsed it over and over and over again in his head while waiting for Netto to arrive, but now that he'd actually kissed the other boy he couldn't make himself leave those trembling, innocent lips. He clenched his fingers against Netto's back and pulled him closer still and kissed him harder, only pulling back when they were both flushed and breathless, their gazes meeting and locking together; neither one of them spoke for a very long moment, until Netto took a deep breath and opened his mouth. "...Why...?"

"Because," Enzan replied simply, and kissed him again.

_You're important to me._

-owari-


End file.
